Well, I fell off the wagon…hard. I guess it could have been worse but I have gained about 12 lbs back of the 32 lbs I originally lost last year. It just is heart-wrenching because I worked so hard last year and am messing it all up in only weeks. I’ve been yo-yo ing since around November. I tried to fight it with holiday challenges to keep me going but a lot of mucky stuff happened all at once. Savings have gone down, hours at work have been cut and I can no longer afford a lot of the healthy items I used to get. Plus, we found out we need to move soon. Just one of the fun things about renting. So now we have less income, more debt, and have to find and qualify for a new place in a higher inflation market with fewer homes available….
See why I’m stressed?
I know it’s an excuse and, to be honest…I feel so much better when I’m on track and more focused on solving problems. I have been watching 1000 lb sisters and I feel like Tammy now. So many rough things happened to her in a short time frame and she just gave up. This happened to me as well. It’s the last thing I should have done but for some reason, I just stopped fighting. I don’t want to give up. I want to be in control again. I NEED TO.
Tomorrow is Friday. I’m going to weigh in…as painful as that will be. I have been binge eating again. I tried to stop cold turkey with BAD results. I will take baby steps to stop this downhill behavior. I need to be the best person I can be to pull my family forward. It’s not fair to the kids if I just throw everything out the window….
Well, thanks for reading my vent. I figured the only way to force myself into this is to post my thoughts somewhere…anywhere. Just to hold myself accountable. Journaling in a book doesn’t seem to help. The only time I seem to get on track is online for some reason. So, here is my plea to myself to please please stop sabotaging and move forward. Yes, the future is iffy right now but that doesn’t mean to give up. Come on girl, do your best. For you and for your kids and family!
